Thinking…

creative-thinking

Okay, so this post is about thinking about specific things and not about things in general. Specifically, I have been thinking about my own mortality lately. I mean how can I not with all the celebrity deaths lately. There have been a lot of them in a short period of time don’t you think? I have been reading other blogs where the posts discuss things like living wills and last will and testaments. I have also been reading tributes to the late David Bowie and others that have recently passed. All of this has gotten me to thinking about my own life. I don’t have fortunes to bequeath to my loved ones but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a say in how I am dealt with once I shuffle off this mortal coil. I mean burial or cremation, graveside service or memorial…stuff like that still has to be decided, right? To date I haven’t determined the answer to those questions but time is ticking away and since none of us know when or how we will pass there is a sense of urgency to decide that I am feeling. Even the TV has been focusing on death lately…just tonight – not half and hour ago I was watching a program and a blurb came up for the news that will be presented at 11 pm with a teaser that said ” How do you want to deal with your presence online when you are no longer present” or something like that. Anyway, that got me questioning how my online presence is set up or even IF it is set up. Hmm, I know Facebook has ways to set up permissions to keep your page active by designating someone to take over and log in with your password once you are gone. They also have a way to memorialize your page so that nothing else can be added by others but everything will remain the way it is so that loved ones can visit your pages to look at your photo albums or something you wrote long ago. You can also request that your account be deleted and taken down on notification that you have died. I am of two minds when it comes to this topic of online presence. On the one hand it would be a comforting place for others to visit to remember you and access treasured pictures or memories. This would be really handy for those that choose cremation and being scattered to the four winds and those that are interred somewhere that is too far away for distant friends to visit your actual graveside. On the other hand I think it rings a little hollow if you are not actually there to contribute to your page and entries get older and older instead of being current. This is just Facebook we are discussing right now…what about my other social accounts, what happens to them? Now I need to do some research on how each social media account handles things like this and make sure I do what I need to in order for my wishes to be followed in this regard. What gets me is even if I decide on what course to take with this will my wishes be followed? I mean, I won’t be here to police that and I could be agonizing over this subject for nothing!

I am also thinking about tax season coming up. *Groan* I HATE this time of year, all the paperwork, receipts, forms, and deadlines. The pressure drives me crazy every year and I swear I will be better prepared the following year and yet I never am. Also on my mind is the minutia of daily life. It seems like my brain never shuts off and it never used to be this way…not growing up certainly and not most of my adult life. I would say my brain has been in overdrive for the last 12 or 13 years although I cannot pinpoint the precipitating event. All I do know with certainty is that from the moment I wake up until the moment my eyes close I am always thinking, thinking, thinking. I have a weird sleep cycle that is partially due to this, at least that is what I think (Ha!). No, seriously, because my brain will not “shut off” I read a book into the wee hours in the morning with my glasses off until my eyes become so tired they just close and I can finally drift off to sleep. I have tried to just go to bed and naturally let sleep come to me but the result is me laying there in the dark wide awake with my brain asking me stupid questions like what am I going to make for supper tomorrow or did I remember to write that appointment down. So, the routine I have now is working somewhat so I will stick with it for now.

Finally, one last thought I wanted to pass on to you for your entertainment…my husband has a saying that he is known for “I try not to think too much – it hurts” and there is part of me that blames him for this curse I have of a brain on overdrive. Perhaps I have subconsciously been programmed to do the thinking for both of us. Aaarrrgghhh !!!

That is all I have for you tonight my friends. It is time to shift my brain into neutral and go play Minecraft for a bit. It is an addictive game but it also engages the creative side of my brain and gives me time off from “life” so I can just go build and decorate. Thank you for popping in to read what I have to say…I do appreciate it. If you have any ideas on how to switch my brain out of overdrive for more than the time I am unconscious or playing a game on the computer please leave them in the comments below. =)

 

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2 thoughts on “Thinking…

  1. You just made me chuckle. Yes, we all think about our own mortality. For me, as a Christian, the good thing is my future is secure. I just worry about my family. Oh, yes, I am glad I don’t suffer from insomnia. Good post!

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